Sleeping and keep waking up. Awaken by dreams. It's anoying how she is running through my mind in reality and in my dreams. It annoys me that I keep dreaming of her. It annoys me that I keep thinking of her. It annoys me that I can't get her out of my mind. It annoys me that I've been crying for days. What are tears for? It's pointless. Nothing good comes from crying. What happen to never commit till that someone commit 1st. I'm so confuse...Really I am. I'm saying things that I don't mean. I say thing that I don't want to do. There's a thin line of wanting to do and need to do right? Why is it so hard? I start praying yet it's still dificult. This is so dificult. It's not fair is it? There's no point of keep saying it's not fair cause it won't change any fact. My heart say run, run, cause I have enough of this shit, I have enough of this pain, enough of hurting, enough of crying, enough of this shit call care. My mind say stays, cause she's gona fall, she's gona get hurt again and she gona crash and burn, and she's worth the pain you go through. Why is it so dificult? Why is it so dificult to erase this emotions? Why do I care? What's the point of caring? What's the point of crying everyday and every night? What's the point. I'm not the guy that run away from anything but why do I feel like running away? Running away to a place far away, where no one knows me, where random people keep walking by and dont give a shit bout me but that's ok, cause I don't give a shit bout them. I lost count of the times I said I'm tired but really I am, I'm damn tired...tired of everything. Life is so beautiful but why am I stuck in this ugly side of life? It hurts deep down to the core. I'm cracked once more. I know I can fix it some other day, I know I can stand back up. But I'm tired. I don't want it to be fix yet. I just want to lie down here. I just want to rest. I want to be alone. I don't feel like working, cause when I work, I help fix other people's problem with their endless rumble of pety things that happen in their life.

How can I help you if I can't help myself. Everytime I see you fall, it breaks me down. Everytime I see you smile. it's as if I'm in heaven. I know I don't need you. I know I can live without you. That's the truth. I don't need you to stand, I don't need to lean on you, I don't need you to be strong. I don't need a reason to hate you and I don't need a reason to hate god or life. I don't need you to survive, to live and to laugh. The truth is, I don't need you to be happy. I don't need you to enjoy life. I don't need you...FUCCCKKK!!! Why the hell I'm I feeling this. I DONT FUCKING NEED YOU BUT WHYYYYY, why am I feeling this, why do I want you, why do I want to be by yourside, why do I want you to make me smile why do I want you to make me happy, why do I want to lean on you, why do I want you to make me feel strong....God want's me to be happy, and I want to be happy too.