Life is full of ups and downs. I felt the ups few months ago... I felt the stagnant few weeks ago....Now I felt the downs. It sucks. Really it does. I can't think straight. I kept thingking and thingking but there is nothing on my mind. It really doesn't help that I have this trouble heart. I want to call but it won't be answered. I want to msg but it will be dead within minutes. Everytime I commit, I end up hurting. Everytime in the morning, I hope today would be the day I get to see her beautiful smile. Everytime in the afternoon I hope I get a message from her. Everytime at night, I hope I get to talk to her and everytime I sleep, I hope I get to dream of her. I don't want this to be another journey. I dont want this to end. I dont want her to be another lesson. Can someone or something give me the strength to be strong. I'm tired and I'm weak and I felt I can't do anything right. She's right infront of me but I don't know how to talk to her, how to look at her, how to meet her. I shed tears many times before, but no one have ever deserve it more then her. I don't know what this feeling is. Why do I always run when this happen but I'm not running away this time. Why do I have to play games? Why must there be games? I already know how I feel but why do people keep telling me to play the game. I don't want to. It really hurts not knowing if she still likes me. I miss those endless smses we have. I miss the nights we talk about everything and anything. I felt that I should leave you alone for awhile, but everyone knows I'm not that strong. I don't have many problems because I keep my emotions away but when my emotions comes out, I cant control it. Does she knows how much she means to me? Does she knows she gave me the strength and she also gave me a weakness?


I miss the hugs we shared and I truly miss the kiss that makes me fly.