PARANOAH. I hate that feeling. I hate the feeling of paranoah. I hate it when I can't control my emotions. I can't think straight. I hate thinking with my heart. Is it truly beyond my control? Can I not hold it in. It's fun not to be able to read but sometimes its annoying. Somethings are so easy to read, but knowing that person is cunning, you will wonder if that is some kind of plan or I was guided to think it in a another manner that is totally different. Annoying thoughts eh. Exciting yet annoying.

I feel sad, happy, joyfull and troubled heart all together. My mind race through many things that may or may not happen. My heart keep pumping a heavy burden again n again. I don't want to be a book that you will keep and read only when you need to, but I want to be that irritating light that illuminate through your dark times. I don't want to be the music that you listen to when you want to, but I want to be the song that you keep humming inside ur mind. I don't want to be the tattoo that can be erase by a lazer, but I want to be the scar the remains on you forever. I don't want to be the handle bar that you can hold on when you fall, but I want to be the hand that grab you everytime you fall or need a pull. I'm confuse and afraid but I'm summoning all my courage to do this. I felt as if a heavy boulder is pushing me away but I have the strength to push it away together with taps and pets from my friends and family.

I was once in the dark. I was once stuck to the ground. I saw hate pain and suffering. But you shine through the dark and show me my path. You gave me a bump to make me able to move. You make me see joy, happiness, beauty and love. I want to be that light for you. I want to be that force that push you to the dreams you always wanted. I want to be the voice that whisper joy, happiness, beauty and love to you. I will show you the feeling that you were seeking.

HUH WHAT? SUE ME!