I will try to change this skin...TRY...

Life is an endless learning journey. A journey of teaching and learning. At times, we don't even see the lesson that needed to be learned. That's life. I have once lost my thoughts, my dreams. It was scary. It's like suddenly, you were blind for the very 1st time. What was more scarier was that, you didn't even realize you were blind until the end. Everyone is trying to be obscurantism. I got to admit, even me. Who isn't? We try to be so hard to be different that the real difference is our similarity. I wish someone could just tap my back, and say, look, why are you hesitating? Do you want to do it? It's not easy to do it. No one listens. This place is wrecked with delusional corpses. Empty shells with no souls. No heart. The that person will say, "Let me the one the listens"

Will you walk with me through this journey of no return.

What is this all about, sue me.

I've been doing a lot of thinking. Thinking of this situation of dilemma I'm in. Honestly what others think about it doesn't matter one bit, as long as my heart stay true. What I'm worried about is what my close friend might think about me. Even in Batam I was thinking. Din reminded me of the fisherman story. As long as I do it with my heart, out of sincerity, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter as long as in your heart, you know its the right think to do. That also reminded me of the time I once said, "I will stop at nothing to change this world for the better. No more hate, no more pain. I shall start with the people I can get close enough." I can't help but try to fix anyone who is broken. In the end, I will be the one that will be encumbered by the very burden I tried to fix. I don't mind carrying everyone's burden as long as they don't need to carry it. Din once told me, "have you tried to be a man? Don't be a prophet." Am I really trying to be one? There will always be choices for me tho choose, choices for us to choose. Truth will be known by few, and misinterpreted by many. That is life, a life I choose. Ironically, many will say "I know" when they don't get the big picture. One little kindness will impact his/her life to do kind deed and that kind deed will impact another person's life for the better, there will always be this exceptional idiot who will ruin it by taking advantage of the good deed and ruin the chain for a better world. That is why, the most important think is,"fisherman story", the heart must be pure and sincere. Even when someone took advantage of you, it does not matter as you do it out of good will and never expect anything good in return. In fact, I expect shit to come my way. That being said, I guess I shall do what I can to help.

"Everyone have their problem, everyone have the same problem but different." Wise words from a very wise friend. Cheers mate, I'm sure you're going to pull it through like you always do. I'm sure of it and pray for it.

Those who does not understand what I have just said and in fact waste 10 minutes of you miserable live, so be it...sue me

New song, one of my fav song since....last time?ahah Ok i know i want to change the skin, but who's really keeping track aniwaes?

Three more days till we're going to our trip. It will be our 1st time going as one eh, hope we have a blast. So all 6 will be going since nisah's issue have been resolved. Make it happen!

What am I doing? This is not meant to be happening. Let's look back, back to 1999, Primarry 5 eh, I had an ambition, a very childish ambition. Keep this world peaceful. So my career have been set, really? Year 2001, a new world. Time pass to quickly that year. No time to think, my imaginary friend, inner self, "adik" he was called by me, he disappeared. Never reappearing till now. 2002, friends,ahhh, beautiful friends. We tried enjoying but it was different. 2003, my brain start to function like a partially retarded moron. Without a care to the world, I am the world. 2004, start seeing truth slowly. The world is dying, we are dying. I need a plan.... Another ambition kick in. To change the world. To change from this wrecked world of war and hatred to love and care. When I hit a certain level, I knew I will start working, it's going to be more work for me to do. 2005....the year that everything change. My "enemy", arr... came to me with a prob...well he didn't literally came to me with his problem, needed few persuasion and digging till he told me everything. Ironic eh, trying to help someone who I dislike. More ironically, after that, we became closer and we became more then friend. NOT A LOVER YOU FOOL. That's when friend became enemy, enemy became friends, close friend "persatuan". That is also the year I questioned my self, why do good people get shit tings and shit people get good things in life. That questions was answered by a total stranger. Showed me sincerity. Early 2008, my life altered, I was drifting away from what I intended to do. Late 2009, it came back to me. I have things that need to be done, I had a personal oath that need to be done. Change those who is around for better or for worst. As long there is no more hate. Just care and sincerity.

HUH? WHAT? SUE ME